DON’T GROW UP, IT IS A TRAP.
This sentence couldn’t be truer. I have spent my entire childhood wanting to grow up. I wanted to be an adult and here I am, fast forward today and I became and adult and I discovered how great is to be a child. I miss not giving a shit. I miss saying things and no one would take them for granted and make a fuss out of them and maybe they will encourage me to say them even thou they are not right, but right now I am stressed out of everything.
I started this blog as a gateway of society, but second worst enemy after myself. But I seem to give in for the fear of society. I seem to give in for the pressure that I face every day from people around me, parents fiancé and friends. I don’t seem to be able to live a life for myself not for someone else. I don’t know how to be selfish and only care for myself and not for someone else opinion on my life.
I read the four agreements and the first agreement was to be compatible with your word with yourself and no matter how hard I try to be okay with whatever I say and do because I have said it and done it I don’t seem to get it. I always end up hurting myself and blaming myself for what I said and done and make a big fuss out of it even though I didn’t do that bad and even if I did I want to be able to live with it and learn from it and not to be hurt from it, but that what happens to me. I get hurt, by no other person other than me.
But in the same book, the fourth agreement was to do your best always and forever and I know that I am doing my best, then why am I not okay with the consequences? Why am I waiting for the clap from other people and not just happy with what I did no matter what was the final result? I am not sure of a lot of things, but I am sure of one thing, is that I will never give up and I will always do my best and maybe one day I will gain the satisfaction not matter what was the result.
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