“NEVER PUT THEM FIRST, IF YOU ALWAYS COME LAST. NEVER GIVE YOUR ALL, IF YOU ONLY GET HALF.”
Have you ever wondered how you has a lot of good things in life, maybe good looks, money or a good position in a relatively good firm, has a low self-esteem, but in the same time you might look at your maid and find that your maid has more self-esteem than you and she doesn’t have half of what you have? I know I did, I usually ask myself this question and as usual I decided to ask my good friend, google and I did a little research. Why don’t you join me today and understand how your self-esteem has developed and how can you get a higher level of confidence?
So first, let me break down how your self-esteem has developed over your life. There are three factors that control how much you like yourself and these factors are immune to your achievement and wouldn’t be satisfied by earning more money or losing more weight. Trust me on the weight thing, I have lost a lot of weight and thought I would like myself more, but it turned out that I want to gain a little weight and then I would like myself more, which will never happen, because these factors won’t be satisfied by the amount of weight I lose or gain.
Back again on the factors that build your self-esteem. Factor #1: Where you stand to the achievement of your same sex parent. I will speak on the female tongue because I am female. So let me explain it to you a little better, if my mom was the editor of vogue magazine and one of the most successful and most looked up to woman in the world, and I was just a saleswoman in Chanel, I would feel that I am not good enough, I haven’t accomplished anything worth in life and I would just feel that I am a disgrace and wouldn’t respect or like myself that much. But on reverse, if I was just a sales woman in Starbucks, but my mom was a cleaning the houses, I would feel like I am a great person. I know I how to do well in life, which in return will make me love and respect myself better.
FACTOR #2 WHAT YOU FRIENDS HAVE ALREADY ACHIEVED. Think of it as life stages, in the first stage of life you look up to your parent and then you meet your friends and might look up to them. So it is the same when it comes to the factors that form your self-esteem. Your friends or colleagues. As I already mentioned when it comes to my weight, I wanted to lose weight to be like my friends, so I can have higher confidence, but then I lost weight and I found out that my sexy friends have a little bit more junk than me and now I feel insecure because of this, Friends are one of the most important factors when it comes to how we see the world and how we see ourselves.
FACTOR #3 THE AMOUNT OF CONDITIONS LOVE CAME WITH. This is the hardest thing when it comes to the factors. I kept going back to my childhood and I found out that this is so true. Think back to your childhood and you will find that to make sure your parents love you, you did anything. You shut yourself up when you wanted to speak so your parents wouldn’t be mad at you and then you thought your parents won’t love you if you haven’t got the best grades and maybe now you are choosing your boyfriend of your parents’ liking, not you’re own and all this is a recipe to low self-esteem. I really wanted to blame the parents for this, but I couldn’t because I thought about how to actually encourage my kids to be good kids, but in the same time, make them know that they are loved.
So in the end, if you want to solve a problem, the first thing you need to do is to define the problem and if you are reading this, then you can check defining the problem as done, second you need to see the causes of the problems and I think we have established it and then you need to solve it using an anti-techniques to these causes. And if you are a parent, please make sure that your kids are sure that you love them unconditionally
I would really love to know what do you think of this post in the comments down below. Till next time, bye. .