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Monday, November 14, 2016

COFFEE TALK: NOT GROWING UP, IS IT YOUR FAULT OR YOUR PARENTS?

The thing is that as any daughter I want to be free, independent and able to do things by myself, but how would I do it, if my parents are not giving me the chance to do it? How would I learn from my mistakes, if they weren’t mine, but theirs? How would I deal, if something happened to them and I am not trained to be independent? How would I be a mother, if I can’t even be me?


“IN THIS LIFE; YOU ARE EITHER A PASSENGER OR A PILOT. IT IS YOUR CHOICE.”

Yesterday, when I was drinking my coffee, some thoughts came into my mind. I wondered why in some situations I don’t have this feeling that I am an adult and can do it all by myself.  I see that some people who are way younger than me can do some much more by themselves and never ask help from their parents or anyone else. But me on the other hand, I don’t do much on my own. I am twenty years old, some people get married by this age and some, live alone by this age.

It brought me back to the Egyptian society. If you don’t know this by now, I am Egyptian. Here in Egypt, a women can never live on her own, it would be in rare occasions where you would find a woman living alone, maybe men, but not women. This is due to long list of factors. It might be the economic condition in Egypt, we don’t really have this high standard of living in Egypt, so not all women can offered to live on her own. But those who can offered it, like me, also don’t, so why is this?

Well, here come why I started this blog. The Egyptian society. The Egyptian society is known by its strict rules and the judgments. I had this opportunity of living alone this year, because of my college, but here is what my mom said to me, and I quote “You would have a bad reputation.” Let me tell you that in Egypt, we can’t have a sexual relation before marriage and any girl living on her own, might have some kind of relationship and some men might come to visit her and thus, all of your neighbors would say that you are a bad, nasty, and excuse my language, slut.  That was mom.

 My dad on the other hand added “You wouldn’t know how to buy food for yourself, deal with the car yourself and…..” You can see where he is going. I know that parents never see that their children have grown and they always keep treating them like they are babies, but is this the reason why sometimes I feel that I can’t work on my own. That I can’t live by my own.

The thing is that as any daughter I want to be free, independent and able to do things by myself, but how would I do it, if my parents are not giving me the chance to do it? How would I learn from my mistakes, if they weren’t mine, but theirs? How would I deal, if something happened to them and I am not trained to be independent? How would I be a mother, if I can’t even be me?

And now, I am passing this question to you. Not growing up? Is it our fault or our parents?

I would really love to know what you think of this post in the comments down below. Till next time, bye. .

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20 comments:

  1. Wow, this post is very deep, I like it, thank you for sharing it with us! amna-tbhidc

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    Replies
    1. Thanks for taking your time to read it.

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  2. I think its on both parts to be honest!

    http://claresloves.blogspot.com/

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  3. I enjoyed reading this post. I think it's a combo of parents and ourselves as young adults that causes it. Parents may be too afraid to let go and we may doubt ourselves. But being independent is important and is worth working towards because it gives freedom and true adulthood.

    XoXo Noma
    www.girlcandress.com

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  4. Great post dear, thanks for sharing.
    I think that when it comes to growing up the fault is on both parts.
    It was a real pleasure to read dear :)
    Sorry if I didn't share the link of the interview on my blog but I had to publish some older post which were sponsored and I couldn't put the link in there.. as soon as I can I'll post an haul and I'll insert the link to your blog and to the interview :)
    Thanks again :)
    http://angolodellamisantropia.blogspot.it/

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    Replies
    1. I think I am starting to see your point of view. It is indeed on both parts.

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  5. Unfortunately Arab societies are so closed minded especially when it comes to us women (I'm Lebanese so I 'm speaking of experience). Although there are many restriction you can find your voice and freedom in your work, hobbies and passions. You can step out of your comfort zone in many areas to help you grow as a human being. Take more responsibilities even if you feel you can't handle them...

    Good luck!

    XoXo,

    Tamara - LoveofMode.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, but sometimes it just drives me crazy.

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  6. Lovely post! Maybe we could follow each other on GFC and instagram @djonovic_milica? If yes, follow me and I follow back as soon as I see it.
    Let me know with a comment on my Blog

    http://intonezzee.blogspot.com/

    kisses

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  7. fantastic post
    http://retromaggie.blogspot.pt/

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  8. I remember being in thi exact state a while back so I get you.
    I think it's a combination of both. you have to show your parents that you are responsible enough and they have to give you a lil room to make your choices and grow. Parents care and worry about their kids and can sometimes be over protective. In my case I tried having a conversation with them. it didn't really work lol. So i had to show them, and it wasn't easy because I sometimes had to go against their rules. Because I had the conversation with then before they understood that I wasn't just rebelling but was trying to become more independent and grow. I'm not saying disobey but I mean you have to show them that you are not a kid anymore. It's not easy believe me I still have to deal with that sometimes lol.
    Good luck dear :)
    xo
    Sauniya | Find Your Bliss ♡

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    Replies
    1. I think doing this goes against every cell in my body. I find it so hard to do something against my parents wishes, sometimes because deep down I trust them more than I trust myself and sometimes because I don't want them to be mad.

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  9. Hey!
    I saw your blog and I liked, I am following u now and I hope u can visit my blog and follow me back, great post.
    Kisses ^^

    ReplyDelete
  10. ¡Hey! I love your blog, I am following you. I hope u could visit my blog and follow me back (-:

    ReplyDelete