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Friday, November 18, 2016


THE DOUBLE MEANINGS  Everything in life has a double meaning. Like a coin with two faces. You just choose which face to see and you also choose which meaning to get.  We all get double meaning in this life from the moment we were created inside our mothers and these meaning change by every day in our lives. This time my double meaning is more complicated than ever. This time it is not just a coin, but more of a necklace of coins that is tangled together preventing me from seeing all the meanings I need and only making me see the faces what others making me see. The first face is my own survival in this country, but one the other’s face, it is helping criminals escape their justice, but my other’s face has a little coin within it with a double faces too, the first face is a criminal I am helping to escape, but on the other side, he might be the one person I have been looking for my entire life, the love of my life. He tells me that my own survival is tangled within all of the others coin and to see the entire coin and not just a face, I need to untangle the rest and find the faces that I should see, the faces where I have to trust him and be get not just my freedom, but all of our freedoms.


I keep my mouth shut while he explore my body wildly with his mouth and hands. It is not like yesterday at all. Yesterday he looked like he needed it and enjoying it, but today it looks so much like a show he is giving, a show to me, maybe to show me that is capable of hurting me. Maybe that he has the upper hand. Or maybe, today is something he has to do, not that he is enjoying me or even wanting me. Like Emanuel forced him to do this and not on his own. Not to mention his anger and his roughness to deal with me. Yesterday he was, indeed, a little bit rough, but at the same time he was gentle. It seemed that he was adding a calculated amount of pressure to me that he knew I would enjoy, without hurting me. Today on the other hand, his roughness is not calculated at all. Although he wasn’t hurting me that much physically, but he seemed like he wanted to.
He steps away from me suddenly. I have no idea why. He looks at the door and slowly he take small light steps towards it. He put his ears to the door and listen for something, for a second.
“We don’t have much time before they get back. Take off your clothes and jump on the bed.” He says.
“Wait, what? Who the hell are you talking about and why would they be back? And how the hell do you know my name?” I fire back at him.
He takes his shirt off and proceeds to take off his shoes and shortly followed by his jeans. I look at him like he just lost his mind and maybe he did. If you saw him yesterday at the beginning, you would have thought that he was losing his mind, but seeing him now, you would be sure that you are locked in a room with a mad man. He steps towards me and when he is in front of me, he opens my jacket. I step away from him.
“Marcus, what’s going on?” I must have looked really terrified of him, because he stepped away from me and put his hand through his hair and pulled it really hard and started taking deep breathes to calm himself up.
He finally looks at me. “Sansa, Emanuel and his men were talking about watching you work your magic on me and they wanted to see what you did to me yesterday; that caused me to loosen up like that. So they were watching, but something must have happened and they went to check on it. But they will be back again shortly and we need to look like we are doing what we are supposed to be doing, so they don’t suspect anything going on here.”
“What exactly is going on here, Marcus?”
He steps near me again with cautions this time. He slowly take off my jacket. “Alex told me why you are here and I wanted to work with you on making the plan to get us all out from here.”
What? Did he just say that Alex told him about me?
I back away from him.
Gayla didn’t tell me about any other person getting out with Alex, she just mentioned that we are working on a plan to get Alex out of La Borgie. But then she wanted to tell me more about the person that was with me last night, but I shut her up, maybe she discovered that another member of the organization she works with is there with Alex and wanted to let me know this. But after I shut her up and we got to work on the plan, she didn’t seem to mention him again. So how does he know about me? Most importantly why did Alex tell him about me and the plan to get him out?
I am taken back from my thoughts by the laughing sounds coming from outside. So Marcus was right. They are watching us from outside and they are not even trying to hide this fact. It is like they are enjoying the show that I am supposed to give.
The thing is, I am not giving a show right now. I am standing far away from Marcus, who is looking really anxious right now.
His muscles are tense. All of them, starting by his face to his neck and down to his aps. I am taken back by how sexy he looks even when he is tensed up like this. His body is all covered up in muscles, even his thighs. I might not have had any guy before him, but even if I had, they would be looking just like him.
“Why are you standing over there? I am waiting for you?” I swear to god, sometimes I wonder where does this voice come from. I never had voice that is as husky as I do now. It immediately has an effect on him, because his body relax and he broadens his shoulder. He realized that I would play the game with him.
I beckon for him to come with my fingers and once he is there in front of me and before he touches me I run away to the other side. And give a shrill or a laughter, I am not sure yet, but Marcus looks at me questioningly for a moment. I open my eyes wider for him, to tell him to play along. I need them to be excited about this, so when we talk about the important things, they would be busy thinking about what we are doing. I also need to find a place where they can’t see us.

He makes a beeline towards me, but again, just as he is going to catch me I run away from him, towards the door that I come and leave from. This door is opposite to the other door that connect to the prison, that means it is really hard for them to hear us while we are talking, but it also means that it leave us wide in the open, for them to watch us, watch me. 
“Comon Marcus, I thought you wanted me better than this.”
I don’t know what happened, but one time he was in the opposite part of the room, a second later he caging me between me and the wall.
“What are you doing exactly?” He whispers to me.
“I am trying to make them think that, you know, doing things. You know, the things that we are supposed to be doing. The things that you crawled to have.”
He doesn’t answer me, but he just put his hands on my waist and lift me up. With one hand still on my waist, the other takes my right thigh roughly and wrap it on his waits. He does all this with his eyes cutting sharp into my eyes.
“You mean those things. And by the way, I didn’t crawl to have you, I did this to get out of here. In fact there was no crawling at all, there was just killing.”
He doesn’t leave me to comprehend what he just said, He bends down and kisses me so roughly and catch my bottom lip with his teeth that I can taste blood in my mouth. I find myself wrapping my arms around him for support. Support from falling or from him, I am not sure yet. He takes this as an opportunity to lift his hand from his waist, but he doesn’t leave it away for long, he pulls on my hair with his hand, no not pull, but tug, it is not that rough, just wild.
He finally let go of my lips and both of us breathless, trying to catch a breath.
I finally remember that he has killed someone and suddenly remember that I am between the hands of a killer now. I finally get scared of him. As it is finally sets in. I try to break away from him, but he pushes me more into the wall and his hold of me tightens.
“Don’t you dare move, we are in front of them, so unless you want to get out of here alive and more importantly with a plan, then you are going to make sure that they enjoy it as much as they want to.”  He whispers-shout to me. His voice is so low, but in the same time, his tune is so serious. It belongs to a man of power, not to the drug addict I have met yesterday.
“What is it that you want?” I tell him with the strictest voice I have.
“Simple, I want to get out of here.”
“It is not that simple. I am only here to bring Alex out. I am paid to get Alex out and the orders I have is to get Alex out.”
He gently puts me down, but then suddenly he flips me, so that I am facing the wall. He bring his mouth so close to my ears “Bend the rules and orders then.”
He finish his talk with a kiss to my ears and then trail a bunch of kisses down my shoulders and my back till the waistline of my skirt. He pulls the skirt down slow, so damn slow.
He is so close to me that I can feel his breath on my waist and as he taking the skirt lower, his breath follow it. I swallow and push myself more into the wall, but I end up pushing my upper body more into the wall, while my ass and legs out.
“Step.” He orders I and every single letter vibrate from his mouth and onto my skin and make me feel things that I shouldn’t feel from a murderer slash junkie.
I step out of my skirt as he tells me to. I dare to turn and face him and I do. He is on his knees so close to me, so damn close to me. Looking up at me with fire in his eyes, not just any fire, but a blue fire, the hottest fire of them all, like he is burning from inside and he plan to burn me with him.
  He swallow hard and blink his eyes a couple of time. “So, speak, what is your grand plan to get us all out.”
“I plan to get…Oh” I lose my focus as his hand wraps around my thighs from the inside opening them a little apart.
“Go on.” He is not even looking at me, he is looking at my panties. I can’t focus with his doing this and so I tell him exactly how I feel.
“You will have to, because we don’t have the luxury of doing anything else. We have audience who thinks that we are fucking, so we need to fuck. On the other hand, we need to talk about your plan and since I heard that you have got some issues that you need to solve from the inside of the prison, you need to discuss it with me.” He says this with so much calm and robotic voice. I wonder how he does it, but his right. I can use his help, even if I wouldn’t be able to get him out of here, but at least he would help me.
I take a deep breath trying to clear my head from him and his hand on my body. I try to steer my mind away from his face and mouth that are so close to my pussy. I try to steer my mind away from the things he had done to it yesterday with his mouth. Obviously I am failing, but I try it again.
“What I know till now is…” The streams of words are cut by his eyes cutting into mine by looking up at me.
I shake my head and give it a try again “What I know till now is the only rational way to get out of the inner quarters of the prison is through this room. I don’t know how I could get Alex to this room and I still haven’t figured out a way to get us all out from the arena through the guards yet. I want to talk to Emanuel to get some of the insight about why hasn’t he escaped till now and if Alex be in here in this room?”
“For future reference; I am supposed to be eating you, not having a discussion with you. So when you speak you don’t look down at me seriously while talking, you supposed to be breathless and having a time of your life. Since you are a terrible actress then I should play the rule for you.” He says all this while he wraps his hands around my body on my ass keeping me a hostage to him and once he finish talking he start to eat me through my panties.
I close my eyes as I know what his mouth would do to me. I know that his mouth on my send shocks throughout my entire body. I moan and push my body to meet him and when he let go to take a breath I grab him from his hair back to me again.
I lose track of time with his sweet torture. I lose track of the place with his sweet torture and most importantly I lose track of my thoughts through him and because of him. I come with such intensity that sends me into a beautiful world a world other than this one.
I groan when I feel him starting to leave me and his hand unwrap from around me. The thing that I know I am the one who supposed to be making them wanting me more and demand for me more. I am supposed to be their drug, but honestly with Marcus, I feel that he is my drug and I am the one who starting to turn into an addict.
“The second thing you need to learn is to keep your focus through anything happening to you.” He stands up and hovers over me, even with my heels, he is still taller than me, towering me.
He bends down that his face at the same level as mine. He hands catch both my hands and pulls them above me, resting on the wall above me and one of his hand is capturing both of wrists in it. The second hand is resting on the wall next to my face. Both of his arms are tense showing off the veins in them. I am still trying to gather back my breath, but his current state is not helping.
“First, of all I am sure now that you need my help to get out of here. I have no idea how the Russians hired you exactly, you don’t seem like the mastermind type. Second, it is nearly impossible to get anyone into this room, into Emanuel’s room other than his men and even for them, is a rare occasion to be here”
“But you are here and you don’t look like you are one of his men.” I cut him before he finishes his sentence.
He shakes his head and laugh a small laugh. “You didn’t hear me when I said I have killed for him.”

Yes, I have heard him, but I chose to ignore you, because if I didn’t ignore him, I would end up terrified of him and I don’t want to believe this. I want to believe that I am not in danger so I can continue. 


  1. That's great dear :)

  2. Lovely post! I follow you, follow me back? xx

  3. perfect!

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  4. You really have me hooked here, girl. Looking forward to the next one. Happy Sunday, hun.

    1. The next chapter is better, hope you read it.

  5. I love this! I am going to read the first seven!


  6. Thanks for your kind comment on my blog. I would like to follow you! If you still want to follow each other please come back to my blog.
    xx from Bavaria/Germany, Rena

  7. beautiful text

  8. Beautifully written