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Friday, November 11, 2016


 Everything in life has a double meaning. Like a coin with two faces. You just choose which face to see and you also choose which meaning to get.  We all get double meaning in this life from the moment we were created inside our mothers and these meaning change by every day in our lives. This time my double meaning is more complicated than ever. This time it is not just a coin, but more of a necklace of coins that is tangled together preventing me from seeing all the meanings I need and only making me see the faces what others making me see. The first face is my own survival in this country, but one the other’s face, it is helping criminals escape their justice, but my other’s face has a little coin within it with a double faces too, the first face is a criminal I am helping to escape, but on the other side, he might be the one person I have been looking for my entire life, the love of my life. He tells me that my own survival is tangled within all of the others coin and to see the entire coin and not just a face, I need to untangle the rest and find the faces that I should see, the faces where I have to trust him and be get not just my freedom, but all of our freedoms.  WAIT FOR A NEW CHAPTER EVERY FRIDAY ON societyfix.blogspot.com


After a while Gayla’s man, Alexander left and I couldn’t be any happier. Gayla stayed with me telling me more about what need to be done and trying to fill the holes with me. If Gayla wasn’t the one who is threatening to kill me, if the job is not done she might be a pretty good women. She is smarter than I thought at first and that must be the reason why she tops all the other men, even though she is younger than them. She also listen with such care and doesn’t judge anything I say that might sound a little bit stupid. I also liked that she waits for me to finish before she starts commenting on what is said or giving me information. Also she always start her comment with a positive thing then she mention the negative if there any. For a little while I wasn’t afraid of her. I actually respected her as a leader.

After Gayla and I finish our talking, I take my car and take the same trip as yesterday to La Borgi. The entire ride, my mind kept flashing back stuff that was done to me yesterday and for a second I wished that Marcus to be the one who meet me today, but I push away this thought at once. Fine, I will admit it, yesterday was really good and if I wished for something I would wish for it to happen again, of course in a different circumstances, but I would wish for it again. If only I didn’t need Emanuel so much for the information to get Alex out.

When I reach the prison I take a deep breath and look in the review mirror and smile. I start playing the role of the night girl he wanted. What was her name? Esitina, Estini, something along the line. From what I gathered yesterday, no one cared about her name other than Marcus anyway and I gave him an Es, so I will keep giving them this stupid nickname, that of course if someone asked me again. 

I pass the front gate with really much of inspection. The entire prison frame is wired with electric current as was stated in the description about the prison, which means that once the doors are closed no one is allowed to enter or leave at all. I pass the arena and again I am faced with all the towers and the guards on top pointing the shooting gun at me. I am sure they are using its lens to take a better look at me for pleasure than anything, but still this means they are alert to anything moving in the arena. The door of the prison entrance is open today, the visitors still have an hour left, but Emanuel, on the other hand, has an unlimited visiting hours for me. I am sure I can spend the night if he wanted to. As long as I signed this contract where it states that inside the prison I am on my own and they are not to protect me against the prisoners, then Emanuel can do all that he wants and they would just turn a blind eye for it.

The entrance door is opened because visiting hours are still open.  I meet the same guard as yesterday, Diago I guess, I am not really good with names, but I need to focus I will need him in my plan sooner or later. He is engrossed in the TV as usual with another football match. If I were his both, I would have fired him a long time ago due to his neglect of work and focusing on sports instead. I give him the million dollar smile (the one you give to someone who has a million dollar in the bank account). “Good Afternoon, Diago.”

He looks up at me and literally open his mouth wide enough for any insect to enter. You know, before coming here, I knew that I am beautiful, but I never knew that I had this kind of effect on someone. It still blows my mind how Diago react around me and how Emanuel views me.
I swing my bag and give it to Diago “Nice to see you today.”

He takes my bag from me and finally close his mouth, before opening it again to speak “Hello. Nice to see you again senora.”  He takes my bag from me and fetch the agreement contract. He hands it to me and I touch his hand while taking the pen and take it slowly without leaving his hands for a second.

“Diago, I was wondering who was that man who got me out yesterday?” I ask while singing the papers without looking at him.

“Mr, Gomez. He is the prison leader.”

“Do you mean the prison chief?”

“Yes, yes. The leader of us all.” He says this sentence in broken English and an accent, making him look adorable.  I give him a genuine smile this time and for the first time he smiles at me and not in the way where he acts like a sexual predator looking for a prey.

“Well, I better get going. I don’t want Emanuel to get angry.” I say it with a smile, but once I say it, his smile falls and he turns really serious.

“Senora, please be careful and try not to make Emanuel mad at you. You don’t know what he is capable of and once you are in there, we can’t protect you, so you are on your own. Please be careful.” His tone says that he is so serious, but in the same time, there is a tremble in it, showing me that he is afraid. Afraid of Emanuel and what he can do to him and them. Which brings me back to my first questions why Emanuel didn’t get free till now, what makes all these guards against him and that he can’t buy them with his money?

I shake away those feelings from my head and focus on my current mission. Getting Emanuel to talk to me. The girl who taught me, told me that men usually hire them just for a fuck. They don’t care about talking or emotion. According to her, to him you are just a hole, at the time. But Emanuel is different, most of the men she deals with are free. They might be married or just having female colleagues here and there, but Emanuel and his men are criminals, in prisons, they would want to talk and feel like normal people again. At least that what I hoped for.  Even Marcus talked to me yesterday, even if it was about nothing at all, but he did talk, so Emanuel will. I know he will. Because otherwise, I would never get the insight from the inner prison and the entire plan would be ruined.

I knock on the room door and wait for the answer. It takes a little bit longer than yesterday, but finally it does open.

Once it is opened, I wish for it to be closed again. I am met with those dirty blue eyes that haunted me in my sleep yesterday. I stand there staring at it for a time. I don’t feel how long I have been staring, until a voice came from the background, an unsettling voice. “The girl who made this guy here crawl to have her again.” I shift my eyes from those Caribbean blue eyes to the large man standing in the background, Emanuel.

“Marcus, where are your manners? Let the woman enter the room.” With that being said, Marcus open the door even more and leave me a space to enter. Taking a better look at Marcus, he seems angry. Yesterday, he seemed confused, stressed and anxious, but today there is fury coming out from him. It made me want to reach out to sooth him, but I know that is not possible. I am not here to sooth Marcus or to help him, I am here to do those things to Emanuel.

I move away from Marcus and make a beeline towards Emanuel who is sitting in the chair on the other side of the room. It is a big chair that would make me appear so small if I sat on it, but with Emanuel, it suits him and maybe Emanuel is a little bit bigger. He looks intimidating sitting on this chair, but he doesn’t look at me like he want to harm me, not at all, he looks at me like I am his entertainment for the day.

Once I reach him, he pat his thigh “Come here, senora.” I don’t want to be anywhere near him, but I do what I need to do, I go and sit down on his thigh. He pulls me near and capture my face in his big hands and kiss me widely without any intro or talking, he just dominate me with such force that I am left to do nothing. I just let go of every thought I have, I let go of the thoughts I have about his nasty smell. I let go of the thoughts I have of his rough hand on my face or his other hand that is pulling my hair too tightly. I let go of the thoughts I have about his mouth on my and in me. I just close my eyes and react how I know I should react.

I reach out and hold his abdomen, smoothly and moving it up and down, just lightly. I make a small noise indicating that I am enjoying his kiss. His hands just loosen up a little and it doesn’t cause me pain any more. Even the force of his kiss is less by every beat.  Finally he stops and smile at me. I smile back. I like smiling without thinking and without noticing how it got out.

“Now I know why Marcus here wanted you, so bad.” He pulls me up to stand and he stands after me. Even with my heels I only reach his chest.

“Don’t leave till I come back for you again.” He says this to me and then turns to Marcus “Enjoy, you have earned her.”

He leaves again and I am again left with Marcus in the room. As much as I am happy that I won’t be with Emanuel. I hate that my mission is delayed. Maybe after Marcus is finished, Emanuel will be back and then I would talk to him. It seems that he like me alright.

Just as I hear the door click. Marcus launch at me. He pushes me till my back is flat against the wall. He is pushed against me. His arms on the both side of my face and his face is so close to me. His face radiate anger. For the first time, I am truly afraid of him.

I try to contain my fears and say something to soothe him a little bit “I…”

“Shut up. Don’t talk right now.” He then kisses me hard with such force. I put my hand on him and start pushing, but he captures my hands in his and put them above. His mouth leaves mine and he put his lips very close to my ears. “They are watching us, we need to convince them that we are fucking, not talking. That of course if you don’t want Emanuel to know all about you, Sansa.”

Did I hear him correctly? Did he just say my name? I open my mouth to say something else, but he kiss me again taking the words and turning it into muffled sounds. It can be translated as objection and can be translated into moans. According to whose side are you on?

“What part don’t you get? Shut up. When the time is right you will talk. Believe me I would like to know what you have to say.”

I, again, left with only what option. I just go with the flow and see how it will go and where it will take me.