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Thursday, January 5, 2017

The Double Meaning (Chapter Fourteen)

Everything in life has a double meaning. Like a coin with two faces. You just choose which face to see and you also choose which meaning to get.  We all get double meaning in this life from the moment we were created inside our mothers and these meaning change by every day in our lives. This time my double meaning is more complicated than ever. This time it is not just a coin, but more of a necklace of coins that is tangled together preventing me from seeing all the meanings I need and only making me see the faces what others making me see. The first face is my own survival in this country, but one the other’s face, it is helping criminals escape their justice, but my other’s face has a little coin within it with a double faces too, the first face is a criminal I am helping to escape, but on the other side, he might be the one person I have been looking for my entire life, the love of my life. He tells me that my own survival is tangled within all of the others coin and to see the entire coin and not just a face, I need to untangle the rest and find the faces that I should see, the faces where I have to trust him and be get not just my freedom, but all of our freedoms.   WAIT FOR A NEW CHAPTER EVERY THURSDAY ON societyfix.blogspot.com


“No, I am not going to do this.” For some reason his rejection to me feels like a slap on the face. It hurts and I am hurt already, I don’t need more hurt from him.

“Listen Marcus, if you want to get out of here, you need to make them see that I am still okay, make them want to break me, make them want me to get here again, otherwise, you will be stuck here forever and seeing your son again, will never happen unless you were dreaming.” Here, setting the ultimatum for him, either helping me on my term or this prison will be his home for the rest of his life or what a miserable life would this be.

I can see him fall apart once mention his son. He should be careful of others knowing about his son or else it would be his fall. He keeps looking at me and back at the door for a couple of heartbeats. But I already know what his choice would be. I know that he would choose to do what I ask. He knows that what I am giving him, is way better than any other option, including listening to his conscious.
“Fine, but I am in control of everything and it will be for show more than anything.” He finally says.
“Whatever makes you sleep at night.” I say and wait for him to take the first initial.

He touches me thigh swiftly, over one of the bruises they left on me. I stop breathing. I am okay and I can handle it. I am okay and I can handle it. I am okay and I can handle it.

I repeat this over and over again. It is not working. I am afraid and my treasures body is remembering everything that happened to me half an hour ago. I thought it would be nothing. I thought that with Marcus I can handle it, but I am not seeing him anymore. I am not seeing this moment anymore. I am in the same place, but in a different time.

“Come back to me.” A voice says in the deep distance. I can’t place where it is coming from. “Come back to me.” The voice says again, but this time is louder and nearer. I can hear it more clearly now. Suddenly the vision is blurred and I rub my eyes to get it better to focus more and when my hand touches my eyes it find water. I realize that I have been crying. I remove the tears from my eyes and find Marcus looking deeply and instantly at me.

I swallow and force myself to stop crying. Marcus hands are on both of sides of my neck. He get them off as soon as my eyes catches this sight. I must be a mess if he is acting like this.
“I need…..We need….We need to go on.” I finally manage to say.

He doesn’t answer me right away. I look at anything other than him. I know he would agree, but he might lose himself in the process. I know his as much as I know a total stranger, but I can tell that he is not the type of man who want to be in this situation. Hell, after what they had done to me, I am starting to wonder if he is the kind of man who should be in this place in the first place.

I feel a hand on my cheek. My first reaction was to get away from it, and I did. But it touched it again, but this time I had another hand holding my other cheek. I surrender and look at Marcus.
“I lost you once, I don’t want to lose you again. For some reason, seeing you like this is tearing me up.” He stay silent for a second and then he continue. “I need you to look at me. I need you not to take your eyes off me. And most importantly, I need you to be sure that I’ll not hurt you. That I’ll die before hurting you.”

He doesn’t wait for my answer. As soon as he finishes his speech, he carries me and I straddle him to keep balance. I do what he said, I keep my eyes on him and he has his eyes on me. He lowers me very gently on the bed.

He kisses my neck before adjusting himself on me. His weight is on his elbows, but his body heat is covering me, making me feel safe. I close my eye from the intense emotions that I am having because of him. I only open them when I feel his lips not on my neck anymore. I find his eyes staring at me once I open my eyes.

He looks at me for couple of heartbeats before kissing me again.  His touch, his lips are morphine, the dangerous type that cause addiction, but dulls all the aches.

“They will come in at any seconds.” He says while lying next to me, playing with one of my hair strands. He is still in me and it feels like heaven. “They might let me stay and they might kick me out. In both cases I want that fierce Es, that I have seen before to come out and burst. As much as it kills me to make you come here again tomorrow, but you want them to know that you are not broken, be the fierce, sex goddess, I have seen earlier.”

I inhale deeply “Okay, I’ll do. Tomorrow I’ll send my plan to Alex, it will be up to you both, if you want to get out or not.”

“Fine.” He shut up for a second. “If there is a safer way for you in this plan, take it, I don’t think you will manage to get away safely if they got you here again.”

I smile at him. He really cares for my safety, but there are more important things for him outside than me. “Don’t worry you will get out and I’ll try to stay alive tomorrow.”

I finish my sentence just in time before the door swung open. Emanuel make a beeline towards us, his men are following his lead.

When Marcus asked me to be fierce I thought that I would put on a mask to show my fierce side, but then I looked at Emanuel and the beast woke up again and suddenly the mask has no use for me anymore.

I smirk at him, challenging him. Marcus removes himself from inside of me, but doesn’t get up and he doesn’t look he is planning to do so, anytime soon. Emanuel finally takes his eyes off me and addresses Marcus. “How was she?”

“Perfect, maybe better than before. What you did to her, started a fire and let me tell you, that fire burns like hell.” Marcus looks at me, mirroring my smirk and I let out a laud laugh to match his mood and stretch my hand above my head, bury my face back to the pillow and purrs.

“Uh, as much as I love your company, gentlemen, I am so tired and I need to get home.” I don’t wait for anyone to answer. I push Marcus away and sit up and swagger while I am picking my clothes from the floor.

I wear my clothes facing them, a small playful smile taking the grand feature in my face. No one is speaking. I totally understand where they are these now. What they are thinking. A face or two shows anger, others are showing confusion and Emanuel, Emanuel is another story, I can totally tell that he is aroused by my behavior, by my defiance. If I had a doubt that he will ask for me again, this doubt is now evaporated. I am sure that he will ask me again to come back tomorrow.

I take a quick look at Marcus and he is in a different land. His eyes are not on my at all, his eyes are on the men staring at me. Anger is radiating from his face. If Emanuel just bothered to look at him, he would see how furious he is by what they had done. My heart swells at his behavior. I feel somehow safer with him here. I know deep down that he would never let them hurt me as long as he is here with me.

After I finish wearing my clothes, I make a beeline to Emanuel and touch his neck and push it down a little and whisper “Later.” In his ears. Even with my heels on, I am nowhere near reaching his ears without him getting down a little bit.

I head to the door without waiting for him to answer me. I know that he will ask me, if I continued to play this right. I open the door, but it is forced closed again. I smile because at this moment I know that I won the case. I won Emanuel invitation extension.

“By later you mean tomorrow right?” He says.

I turn to look at him and rest myself on the door behind me. “I would love that, but I would prefer it to be Friday. You see, you have used me too hard today. I am all covered in bruises that I am sure you wouldn’t like to see. Give it tomorrow a rest, so I can be totally present on Friday.”
“You are right, you would need more than a night to heal from all that I have done to you, because I am planning to do way more the next time.”

I hear something shatter in the background and I take a look behind Emanuel and I look to see Marcus standing in front of the other door leading to the prison ground itself. He wave something in the air and it looks like the door handle in his hand. “Don’t worry I will fix this.” He says while his back to everyone and he is facing the door.

Emanuel keep staring and I take the opportunity to end the conversation with Emanuel and leave. I need to get out of this shit hole before I turn into one of them. “Friday, it is.” My voice captures Emanuel attention and he smiles when he looks at me. “Friday.” I am out of the door before he even complete the sentence and close it behind me.

I take a minute to adjust myself to start playing the second role in the game. I drop the strong act and mess up my hair even more. My lips and face doesn’t need to be mess any more than this, since Marcus messed them up even more. I drop one of the shoulders of my coat to show the bruise on my shoulder and start walking in a small broken steps. Producing the loudest, uneven sound I can produce with the heels. I go from left to right and once I know that I am far away from Emanuel room that they can’t hear and on the eye sight of Diago and strain my leg and fall down. I hear my heels snap in the process too. I hit the ground so hard that would bruise my body even more and would make me regret it when I try to sleep.

“Senora, are you okay!” I hear Diago shuffle around his desk. Thank god that the impact was so forceful that tears were formed in my eyes without me working for them to come out. 
Diago mumbles something in Spanish once he sees me and come quickly on his knees to help me stand up. Once his hand touches me I tremble and move my hand away from his. “Please, I need to go home.” I say through my tear. I love how everything is played correctly. Nothing fake. The most natural performance ever, mostly because it is indeed natural.

“Senora, please let me help you.” He is hesitant this time to touch me and when he does he is like afraid he would get hit or something. He slowly helps me up and I go and lose my balance again and fall again, but he catches me. He carries me this time and put my on a waiting chair on the side wall. I taste blood in my mouth and it is a lot more than I could keep in my mouth that I have to either spit it out or swallow it, so I spit it out.

Diago’s face turns whiter than before and he heads to his desk and bunch some number and pick up a phone. “No, please no hospital. Please no hospital. Please no hospital.” I keep saying and I try to stand up, but then I fall on the chair. I cry harder. “Please, please don’t call the hospital. I will leave.”
“Senora. I am not calling the hospital.” Of course he doesn’t. Hospital means supervision of authority and I can bet on all of my money, that they don’t have enough permission to get visitors for the most dangerous prisoner in Columbia.

Diago start speaking in Spanish and I make a not to self to learn as much language as I can manage as I don’t want to be in a situation that I can’t understand to handle.

After Diago finishes his call, he goes around his desk and pick something, a piece of cloth and come back and offer it to me. I take it and start washing away the blood traces on my lips, face and neck.
After couple of seconds the door opens and I see the face that will complete my plan and grant me the getaway card from the Russian assholes.